Five Reasons Men Shouldn’t Wear a Speedo

Disclaimer:  I stopped at five to be polite, don’t want to bruise any male um….egos.  

Summer is here, I live at the beach, and the possibility of a speedo sighting poses a real danger. We require a  public service announcement.  The sign telling beach goers that glass bottles and pets are prohibited needs updated.  “Danger Speedo Infested Waters”  If this were a movie it would be the RiffTax’s version of Jaws.   Which, somehow, brings me to my five reasons.
1.  it looks stupid, gosh I could stop right here and have made my point
2.  it leaves nothing to the imagination, it should be my choice to imagine you naked
3.  hammocks are for taking naps, not cradling for your doodles
4.  it could give some sweet little old lady a heart attack
5.  and seriously –  you will have tan lines like a girl…..You don’t shave your bikini area why should you have a tan line for one? 
So men make the right choice, and stay safe out there!  

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