I have fashioned a translation.

Retro Blog, Once upon a time I use to blog elsewhere.  Original air date February 2008. 
Once again I make the statement; the fashion buzz is not my thing.  I went clothes shopping (again) and took a confidant with me (again).   I was in one of those not so rare, rare moods.  Personally, I like things pure and simple, no wordy mumbo jumbo terminology.  With that said I began explaining (shouting across a department store) to my friend what I thought the marketing executives really meant by the tags on their clothes.  He are a few gems, and a few not so glamorous ones.  
Vintage wash: looks like you haven’t washed them since the 70’s
Vintage fit: tight through the chest
Lived-in look: uh you are paying for holes
Funky detailing on pocket: ugly buttons
Skinny fit jeans: jeans that we all look bad in
Contours to curves: hugs the monkey where she ‘s chunky
Pleated empire waist creates a nice drape: hides the monkey’s chunky
Dont suppose I could get any volunteers for my next shopping trip?

2 Replies to “I have fashioned a translation.”

  1. hahahahaha, your translations are hilarious…and so true! come shopping at the MJ FC while I'm here!!! (tues, sat, sun) see you soon 🙂

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