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Five Reasons Men Shouldn’t Wear a Speedo

Disclaimer:  I stopped at five to be polite, don’t want to bruise any male um….egos.  

Summer is here, I live at the beach, and the possibility of a speedo sighting poses a real danger. We require a  public service announcement.  The sign telling beach goers that glass bottles and pets are prohibited needs updated.  “Danger Speedo Infested Waters”  If this were a movie it would be the RiffTax’s version of Jaws.   Which, somehow, brings me to my five reasons.
1.  it looks stupid, gosh I could stop right here and have made my point
2.  it leaves nothing to the imagination, it should be my choice to imagine you naked
3.  hammocks are for taking naps, not cradling for your doodles
4.  it could give some sweet little old lady a heart attack
5.  and seriously –  you will have tan lines like a girl…..You don’t shave your bikini area why should you have a tan line for one? 
So men make the right choice, and stay safe out there!  
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Apricot Almond Pastry

One day I would very much like to write a cookbook.  I have begun to collect my favorite recipes and compose a few of my own.  I pulled this one out of my hat last weekend and I can’t wait to try it again. 
Apricot Almond Pastry
Two tubes of Pillsbury seamless crescent rolls
1 brick of cream cheese (8 0z)
Scant ¼ cup of apricot preserves
 1/3 cup of powdered confectioners’ sugar
1 tspn vanilla extract
½ tspn of almond extract
½ cup slivered almonds
2 Tbsp granulated sugar
1-2 Tbsp melted butter
Preheat oven to 350C.
To make the filling use an electric mixer to cream together the cream cheese, powdered sugar, apricot preserves, vanilla and almond extract.  Set aside.   Open and unroll one tube of crescent rolls placing them in the bottom of a 9×13” baking dish.  Spread filling evenly over crescent roll.  Top with the second container of dough, pressing down slightly.
Bake for 25min at 350C
Pour melted butter over the top, sprinkle with almonds and granulated sugar.  Return to the oven for an additional five min or until the almonds have toasted slightly. 
Serve warm or at room temperature. 
Warm and toasty out the oven.

I think next time I’m going to try it with the brandied cherries that a friend made for me!

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Scent of a ‘hua

Once upon a time I blogged elsewhere
Original air date: March 2008

What is a hua you might ask?  That would be my nick name for Chihuahuas, or  my own little snit named Strider.   With that I give the dramatic interpretation of “scent of a hua”.
  Disclaimer: don’t judge me by how nasty my dog is, he didn’t learn it from me. 
Last Wednesday Tim left for practice, guitar in hand,  smile on his face and no indication what awaited his wife.  I (being his wife) was enjoying the quite house and decided I was going to pamper myself a little.    I turned on the shower to hot.  In addition, I  turned on a small space heater.   I closed the door and left long enough to put on my bathrobe and pour a glass of wine.  Ah anticipation…….I opened the bath room door and received a full frontal assault of hot muggy burnt pee.  Yes pee, in all its ammonia goodness. Earlier I had made the dogs go outside and use the potty while it was raining.   Disgruntled Strider decided to communicate.  He had left a little sprinkle of tinkle on the coils of the space heater.  “Oh the humanity”  I yelled as I spun around in time to see him do the fastest ever army man crawl to get under the bed !!  “you do that again and I am going to turn your doodle sack into a coin purse”  I swear I heard him laughing.

Insult to injury:   I called my husband explained what had happened.  He laughed and told everyone on his end of the phone, that my dog (not our dog) had peed on the space heater and I turned it on.  He thought it was hysterical.  Strider and I snuggled on the couch while Tim cleaned the space heater.  Seemed fair to me.

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Ten Resons I Want to be a Pirate

Once upon a time I use to blog elsewhere.
Original air date : 18Aug2008

Disclaimer:  Don’t approach me singing “yo heave ho”  I’m not a heaving  ho
1.  Rum, its  a pirates job to drink spiced rum!
2.  Who else can call their material possession “booty”
3.  Warm water and white sandy beaches
4.  A profession that doesn’t require  high heels or people skills
5.  I would have my own theme park ride at Disney
6.  Nappy hair is in!
7.  Pillaging, I would get to pillage
8.  Making people walk the plank would be cool
9.  I could finally put all those cannonballs I’ve been keeping to good use

10.  Eye patches are slimming

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Mostly Mangle

Here it goes, deep breath.  The purpose of this blog is to have a place for the inter-mangling of all the things in my life I enjoy,  hopefully for your enjoyment as well.  Like I said, that’s what its suppose to be.  It might just be a great place for me to run my mouth, who knows.  So – whats game for mangling?  Food, homemade ingenuity, moments in green thumdom, good hair days and other random things.   I think that about covers it all!